Managing challenging behaviors can be quite stressful. Most of the time, parents just do what they can to get through the situation with as little fuss and fighting as possible. Unfortunately, this often times involves strategies that may be counterproductive, increasing the chance of these behaviors occurring in the future. If the goal is to decrease these behaviors in the long run, there are specific strategies to use based on why the behavior is occurring. Not all behaviors should be treated the same. These strategies that we will discuss below and in future posts may not always be the first strategy a parent would think of, we do recommend consultation with a behavior analyst who can provide a treatment plan and provide support for you and your family along the way.
In general, it is important to plan for a) alternative behaviors to teach your child to engage in instead of the behaviors they currently engage in during specific situations, as well as b) how to handle behaviors in the moment when they are occurring. When planning for these strategies, it is crucial to always think about why your child is exhibiting the particular challenging behavior. There are four reasons that people engage in maladaptive behaviors, to get something they want, to get attention from someone, to get out of a situation, and to get sensory feedback from the behavior itself. We will briefly review these four reasons in this post.
Children often engage in maladaptive behaviors to get something they want. For example, a child may want a cookie out of reach in the kitchen, so he screams in the kitchen, hitting his head until someone comes in the kitchen and offers what they can until he or she gets what they want. The child learned that screaming and hitting his head is an effective way to get a cookie.
Children also engage in maladaptive behaviors to get attention from others. Have you ever been talking with your partner and your child starts screaming or engaging in other bad behaviors? This may be because he or she wants your attention, for you to pay attention.
A very common reason why children engage in challenging behaviors is to get out of things. Imagine a child eating dinner and he starts throwing his food and hitting their caregiver. The caregiver says, “okay, okay, all done,” and allows the child to leave. The child learned that throwing and hitting is an effective way to get out of eating.
Lastly, children diagnosed with autism engage in challenging behaviors sometimes because they like how the challenging behavior feels. Screaming, pinching their bodies, pulling their hair, banging their heads on hard surfaces are all behaviors that may serve some sensory need. It is important to distinguish this from any of the other reasons previously discussed before determining how to react and what to teach instead.
Take some time to think about your child’s challenging behaviors and why he or she may be engaging in them. Stay posted for future posts outlining strategies for how to react to these behaviors and what to teach your child instead, based on why they are engaging in the behavior.
What have been your specific challenges?